Yes, we've all had these: times when we wish we had the ability to disappear, or at least melt to the floor so we can glide out of the room unseen.
A few recent favorites:
We came across a traditional Mennonite family during this past Christmas season, the patriarch donning the common white beard and suspenders. Steven's eyes lit up, and I saw this coming a mile away...but it happened so quickly I was paralyzed to stop it: he ran right up to the gentlemen, pointing about 12 inches from his face, looking back at me screaming "Santa Claus, Santa Claus!" I'm relatively certain the traditional Mennonite religion frowns upon the teaching of fables. I'm assuming this because he was frowning at me. Or maybe it was because the four small grandsons he had with him would never commit such a brazen and disrespectful act. I can't be sure.
Steven is at the age of "I don't have to listen to you because I can do everything mySELF and you are just an annoyance to me, so move." In order to get him to do as I ask, I frequently must present the chore as a game. Since he inherited my uber-competitive gene, the most effective game is a race..."I'm going to beat you to the stairs!"...."I'm going to beat you to the car!"...etc. Note to self: Do not use this tactic in a grocery store ever again. You wouldn't believe the looks you get from strangers when your toddler is running from you screaming "Don't beat me mommy!!"
I'm not exactly sure where he picked this up, but his latest catch phrase is "Holy Crap!" He flings this around freely, such as "Holy Crap, that's a big cookie!" or "Look at THAT kid, Holy Crap!" It's been suggested to me to calmly say the phrase is not appropriate and move on, but it's hard to stay calm through gales of laughter.
