Amy's Blog

Alcatraz: Complimentary t-shirt with each stay!

Its time for us to get our nose jobs done. MJ is waiting for us!

We told ya'll to turn it down!

If it's to loud, you're to old.

What PWK gets for Violating the local sound ordinances just one too many times.

I told ya, it was only 105 dbA, I wasn't breaking your noise ordinance.

"No I don't have your stapler" the guard tells the inmate,"you get sixty minutes out in the yard, no funny business here mister. You will be with us for quite sometime, with those charges of arson, theft by deception, and lewd and lascivious behavior. You'd better get used to this routine better than you did at Initech, freakin' pyromaniac."

"Mad audio scientist or no..  If you don't move your fingers, they will be small enough for people to use as ear buds!"

When you said "Solitary" I thought you meant you were returning me to "mono" . . .

I have a button to show you what I think of the charges officer.

"If loving horns is wrong, I don't wanna be right!"

You heard me comming for a mile? Really? Should have been more like 3 miles away... Must have been turned down.

She told me she was 18!

We're not in (Ar)Kansas anymore.

...and I said, I don't care if they lock me up either, because I told, I told the Warden that if they move my cell one more time, then, then I'm, I'm shanking, I'm going to shank someone. And, and I told you too, because they've moved my cell four times already this year, and I used to be over by a window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, they switched from the Klipsch to the Boston speakers, but I kept my Klipsch speakers because they didn't blind me as much, and I kept the wires for the Klipsch speakers and it's not okay because if they take my Klipsch speakers then I'll set the prison on fire...

(an obvious paraphrasing from the movie "Office Space". i thought the prisoner looked like the Milton character)

It's HERESY to put Paul Klipsch in jail!

‎"Any last requests?"

"Yeah. An MP3 player and a pair of Klipsch Image S4 earbuds"

Hey! I warned you what would happen if you bought polk audio! Now get in there!

You didn't have to kick me in the knee, I really didn't have it turned up all the way!

The Fashion Police are still at work and doing a fine job!

"Can't I just stand in the corner instead?"

"Sound this insane needs to be locked up!"

Suuure, let the audio engineer out only when the stereo's broken.  

"And I would have got away with it too...If it wasn't for those nosey kids and their *** SPL meter"

I'm sorry to do this to you Mr. Klipsch, but we have had far too many loudness complaints all because of you.

Maybe next time when you are asked, you should turn it up!

How was I supposed to know there was a law about having pants with socks that look like this ?

Disclaimer; for safety reasons this is just a thought "not" an entry into the contest, thank you.

"I told you there's an ordinance agaist oversized cowboy hats."

Horns are to Klipsch, as honkers are to man....

"Can you hum a few bars?"

"At least in Arkansas, they let me keep my pants.  Geeze, welcome to San Francisco, eh?"

"...I don't care if you're working on some sorta special project for the Warden...you're not gonna get back your "compression driver," or whatever you call that contraption, if ya keep blowin' holes through the cinder block wall at the back of the jail!"

"Can I have a cell with better corners, please?"

"This is Bullshit."

WANTED:  Klipsch

"Yeah, this will be fine for me, but that Altec guy is going to want a multi-cell."

I was NOT breaking the laws of physics!!  That's how Kornerhorns work!

"This is what you get for calling the city "Frisco" !

...with room for my Klipsch speakers, this will be EASY time...

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN

CAN I HAVE SOME BUTTER FOR MY MUFFIN!!!!!!!:)

GOTS NOTHING BUT TIME AND KLIPSCH ON MA MIND MAN!

How do you guys think this cell would work as an anechoic chamber?

All you Klipsch-ibitionists are all the same... Reference this !!

Trench Coat + plad shorts = lifelong sentence. We're completely serious.

How can I get "too loud" complaints in San Francisco,  I live in Arkansas!

Can I get a room with better corners?

"They said each cell came with Cornwalls"

THESE ARENT EGGS THEY ARE HUEVOS!!!!!!!!

Can I please have a night light!

The original Breaking Bad !

So, have you learned your lesson yet?  If you play that god forsaken music so lound that you're breaking your neighbors windows from 2 miles away again, this is gonna be your new home, for a long, long time!  And what the heck is a LaScala anyway?

IF you thought my shorts were loud,just wait till I turn up those cornerhorns

This here is a nice friendly Klipsch kinda town... We dont want none of your Bose kind...

SHE WAS 15? *** fooled me...

Hell, I was just getting started.

The governor called.  He said you're free to go and thanks for the Klipschorns.

"Is that a torn meniscus, or are you just happy to see me?"

I swear it wasn't me!... it was Robin Williams!

When I said you need a big house for Klipsch this isn't what I had in mind.

i told you my name is Dr. Amar G. Bose, better sound through research. now shut that door.

Book-em Danno

I'm sorry sir, but I cant do anything about the acoustics in here, and no...you cannot have your button back.

I bet your fire breathing monsters cant break down these walls. Your going to need more than 105Db.

I didn't know a 40 Hz bass note would trip the Bank alarm . . .

That's Bull$^#1 that my Klipschorns tripped your Bank alarm

my name is Dr. Richard Kimble and i did not kill my wife. you need to be looking for the one armed man.

You'll never break me copper!

Measure it any way you want: it's Just. A. Five. Watt. AMP!

All I said was "What this country needs is a good 5 watt amplifier." and that's when the fight started!

I know Dr. Bose deserved it, but you just can't go around kneeing people in the groin.

We call him the "Hornman of Alcatraz."

IS SOAP ON A ROPE EVEN AN OPTION????

"It wasn't the cafeteria FOOD I took issue with, it was the PA system!!"

What were you thinking , man ?

Any man caught playing music too loud spends a night in the box.

(Cool Hand Luke)

"Sir, Your speakers are making everyone else look bad. We can't have that"

" Roommate? What roommate?."

"I don't even know what a flux capacitor is!!!!"

"Turn up the music that loud again and its "dead man walk'n" time!"

Welcome to listen, we opened again.

Please, please, water board me, beat me, anything, just don't make me listen to those puny Bose!

Well Mr Klipsch.  I told you not to flash uncle Amar the BS button!

(Fini's getting serious.... the pants are off.)

But officer, I didn't know it was illegal for music to sound so clear. ! Honestly, I didn't know.

Excuse me, warden, but you wouldn't happen to have any extra raincoats, or perhaps some spare papier-mâché, would you?

The judge never saw a 'Bullshit" button before????

The charges are "BULLSHIT"

"You're free to go, Mr. Klipsch."

"Can I take the electroshock therapy machine?  Please??"

"Nope, Hunter's not in here, either.  Gee, I never knew this museum basement was so HUGE!"

"Great!  I'm outta here in time to make it to the Hope Chamber of Commerce Soccer Tournament.  I'm the goalie for Team Klipsch!"

Locking me up with Bose speakers is cruel and unusual punishment!

"..Some hip chick named Amy will have fun at my expense with this picture in the 21st century.."

Hi,

I'm here to bail Michael Colter out.

I'm still not talkin' !! No matter what you make me listen to!!

I'll make your license plates, sure, but every single one will say "Bullshit" on it!

Lousy screws! Pick up your own *** soap!

Guard: What this country needs is 5 good what's?

PWK: Exactly.

Guard : Exactly what?

PWK: 1 joule of energy per second.

Guard: What?

PWK: Yes.

Guard: Yes, what?

PWK: Exactly.

Guard: Exactly what?

PWK: 1 Newton meter per second.

Guard: All right Mr. smarty pants.

PWK: It's Klipsch. And they're Tattersall shorts.

Guard: You're trying to make me look stupid!

PWK: Bullshit! You do it much too well yourself...

"The Burtman of Alcatraz" featuring Paul W. Klipsch in his award winning portrayal of Burt Lancaster portraying death row inmate, Robert Stroud.

If I can't take a Leak in public, then Brooks me Danno!

No! Not an echoic chamber!

Squawker was NOT a refernce to your wife.

Now that you mention it, Woofer could refer to your wife,

I was kidding when I said I escaped from New Mexico State, it's a cow college, not a prison.

Enjoy the Peace and Quiet Inmate Klipsch, cause later tonight your getting a Cell Mate- Named Bubba........:>).

" And how do you like our little cube now, Meester Klipsch?"

Listen guard, I'll do ANYTHING you ask, just don't lock me up with that Fini guy again!!!

Anechoic what????  We call it a gas chamber.

They may call you boys "Bulls" in here, but on the outside I'm the man with the horns.  Got it, flatfoot!?

Hey look, when they said Klipsch was the best for "rock" they didn't mean Alcatraz.

I am sorry about the accommodations Mr Klipsch, but you should be safe here until we can apprehend this girl Amy who has been stalking and taking photos of you.

It's a bit on the small side; but, i does have good corners...I can work with it.

You can lock me up; but, you'll never silence me.  The horns WILL live on.

It says here that you perform best in corners.

Dance, *** it, dance!

Hey, you gotta put me in a different cell, this one is round. I gotta have corners or I'll go nuts in here!!

But I don't even OWN a white van!