Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I
wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and
the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said
that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana
doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live
nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy
can get better. She deserves it...
Don't worry Mom. I'm 16 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit
so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son Jon
P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse
things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.
"A man who has nothing which he cares more about than he does about his personal safety is a miserable creature who has no chance at being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself."