A guy is driving around the back woods of Louisiana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down Cajun cabin: "Talking Dog for Sale". He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Beagle sitting there. 'You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' the Beagle replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Beagle looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services...the US Army Special Forces. You know the reputation of them Green Berets.'
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down.
I retired from the Army (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. 'Ten dollars,' the guy says. 'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's such a bullsh*tte'r. He never did any of that stuff. He was in the Navy!
He has truth; the wheel of time may roll whither it pleases, never can it escape from truth. It is important to hear that such have lived. All Hail Hypno Toad!!!