Yessireesir, it's that one day each year where we do what our Mom's taught us, not showed us. You know, get clean around the ears.
Now I'm sure your mother, just like mine, would always say after a bath:
"Marty (substitute your own name)! Did you wash behind your ears.?"
"Yes, Mom, I'm a good little boy"
Then, of course, she'd pull your ear, check behind, give a grunt of dissatisfaction. Then she'd grab a washcloth, and give said area a good scrubbing until your ears (and you sense of budding manhood) had turned bright red. But what she had failed to do, was actually look inside your ears, with now obvious consequences.
Sorry to say, over the years, as adulthood came upon us we adopted a regime of keeping those rear ear areas clean and shiny. Sadly, inside those canals hidden gunk began to accumulate. It goes by the name of earwax, and in a worst case scenarios, not only does it affect your hearing, but it can keep those lovely, and very manly, middle-aged ear hairs from growing out properly and giving your sidewalls that proper fuzzy look.
Now for most of society, this could hardly be classified a major disease. However, amongst the audiophile community it was a plague of devastating impact. Afflicted audiophiles, unaware of what was happening, gradually found that music no longer held them in thrall. soon they were taking their wives to movies and their kids to ballgames. The economic consequences were dire. High end stereo gear manufacturers saw there sales drop and were soon trading in their Beemrs for Yugos. The downtick was having a ripple effect across society and having so many male spouses suddenly active in their wives and children's lives was skewing American cultural norms.
I myself was afflicted although I didn't know it at the time. Fortunately, a weeks swimming in warm salt water at a beach resort had cleared my ears of the offending wax and I soon drew the appropriate conclusions.
Acting with alacrity, I formed an association, raised funds, lobbied and cajoled and soon saw passage through Congress of National EarWAx Day. No we go forward on this very day to raise awareness amongst audiophiles everywhere of the danger of that waxy buildup.
Sorry to say our operating funds are still small and can barely sustain me in my role as chief EarWax Researcher. Our goal is to identify new removal methods.
Sensing a buildup in my right ear canal I decided to try out a new experimental device. It's called the "Ear Plunger". Results so far is that it has defiantly removed all the earwax from said canal. There is a minor glitch, though, in removing the "Ear Plunger" A good tug on it results in the "Pop-Eyed Effect" but left in place it acts like a sophisticated tuning fork with a corresponding enhancement of listening between the mid to mid-upper highs.
So please support EarWax Day with a small contribution or chip in so I can get an ambulance ride to the nearest hospital.
Thank you for your support.
He was a legend in his own mind.